lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
