I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
