why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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