Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
