We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
