yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
