There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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