I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
