you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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