just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
