In the future we'll all be gay
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
