Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just high enough for therapy.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
