Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm just crazy horny about you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
