Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
