i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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