I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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