Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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