quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
