He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
