why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
