Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
