thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
