In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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