I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
