I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
