Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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