He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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