Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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