you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
