I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
