Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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