Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
