Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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