what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
