garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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