I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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