honey bunches of taint.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my poor anus
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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