If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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