He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
