3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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