Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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