she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
