She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My liver just had a heart attack.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
