I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
