He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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