All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
