I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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