he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
