I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
