Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
